Barbara Cross

As a direct descendant of Concord, Massachusett’s founder and religious freedom advocate Reverend Peter Bulkeley, Plymouth Colony founder and spiritual leader William Brewster, writer Ralph Waldo Emerson, and the daughter of Faith Bulkeley, perhaps it is no wonder that Barbara Bayley Cross brought the spirit of a pioneer and innovator to everything she undertook. An early influencer though armed with only pen, paper, a rotary phone, and a fierce intellect, she brought a fearless originality to bear on a life whose impact was felt by everyone it touched. 

Preparing to embark on a career in international relations after graduating from Rutgers University, she attended Harvard Graduate School. With only one semester remaining, she left Harvard to begin what would be a lifelong devotion to her husband James Allerton Cross and to his music. With characteristic verve and resourcefulness, she decided to innovate the concept of education and family, forging a path that would help him navigate the complexities of being a composer, doctor, and father. She began teaching to help put him through medical school, and immediately addressed needs in the school system, working to develop early childhood education and gifted programs, reading programs for the underprivileged, and the dissemination of knowledge through experiential learning and reading breakthroughs. Building on her experience as an educator, she then created a learning environment for her own children that nurtured curiosity and a foundational approach to intellectual and artistic pursuits. Creating a hybrid structure centered on immersion in the classics, arts, and independent learning, her implementation of homeschooling which was not yet common practice, became a social nexus and cultural fulcrum for neighboring children who flocked to her house when their own school day was done.

  An avid explorer and lover of adventure, she embraced a life of reinvention, calling places as varied as Oregon, Southern California, Virginia, New York, and South Carolina home. Though the oceans and gardens of California were something she would always miss, she came to Virginia with a spirit perhaps similar to her ancestors when they arrived, and rolled up her sleeves accordingly. She worked at Emory and Henry College as well as Virginia Intermont College directing curriculum development, internships, teacher training, and programming for first-generation college students. An insatiable learner and never one to leave unfinished business, she returned to graduate school to get her Master’s in History at the age of 60. She and Jack retired to the cultural mecca of New York City, where they spent many exhilarating years before going to Camden, where they enjoyed the warm embrace of its community, family, and dear friends.

 Born May 27th, 1935, at 91, she faced down the present shoals, backed by forebears who had surmounted the daunting rocks of the past. Blythe of spirit, always intentional, and deeply invested in action, she may have found it fitting, if surprising, that having named her favorite teenage song, “Rowing Down the River on a Sunday Afternoon,” she sailed out of life on a Sunday afternoon, July 19th, 2026 (but only after Spain secured the World Cup, her favorite team second only to fair England). Given her keen intellect, maverick mentality, and a charisma that ignited those around her, it’s no wonder someone who had only met her recently described her as “exciting, curious, gracious, and complex, elevating everyone around her. Magic.” She was indeed a master of cultivation: friendships and people, children and flowers, confidence and optimism. All the gardens of her life will miss her more than even she could imagine.

She was preceded in death by her husband of 62 years and her beloved sister, Jean Van Gelder. She is survived by her three children, Ari Dickinson (Bo), James Cross (Kara), and Rebecca Del Monte (Michael), as well as six grandchildren: Katherine Dickinson; James, Peter, and John Cross; and Emerson and Max Del Monte.

The memorial service will be held at 2pm on Saturday, July 25, 2026 at the Bethesda Presbyterian Church in Camden, South Carolina, with a reception to follow at Westminster Hall.

Burial will be on Wednesday July 29, 2026 at 2pm at Cold Spring Cemetery, Cold Spring, New York, under the direction of Clinton Funeral Home- Cold Spring. 

 Kornegay Funeral Home, Camden Chapel, is assisting the family.

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Barbara Cross, please visit our floral store.